I know man
by bella and alice
Summary: Alice gets brain washed and Jasper gets trapped in Cuba...plz read and review! I will take suggestions, any suggestion and right another story for you to read also.


Alice walked in out of no where in particular bringing a brand new light saber with her. She claims she bought it at Wal-Mart, But we all know she stole it from the set of Jar-Jar Binks Productions. Under her arm she held the new Star Wars Wii game along with her new Jedi cape, Which she stole from the Volturi. She then started to set up for her Jedi training. The only reason why Alice was doing this was because she was in love with Anikan and wanted to impress him, she secretly hated Padme.

All while Jasper sat watching in silence, watching his wife fall in love with Darthvader. With his so awesome power he then became depressed and jealous. Jasper then went up to his room to create a plan. His plan involved attacking Cuba then learning the language of the Zebras, then to become the greatest Jedi in the world while concurring Cuba and speaking the language of the evil stripes. Jasper decided to go and get is plan over with and win back the love and respect of his wife.

Alice was then jumping off the couch trying to master the moves in training mode when Emmett walked in...

Emmett then gasped, seeing Anikan on the screen with his pure hotness. "OMG!! IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS?!" Emmett cried with joy.

"YES IT IS EMMETT!! ITS A DREAM COME TRUE!!" Alice then ran to Emmett and hugged him! This was truely the greatest moment of their bitten lives. "And guess what!!"

"What Alice??" Emmett was now curious.

"I'm gonna marry Anikan!!" Alice had even picked out her dress...she stole it from Padme.

"...I WANNA MARRY ANIKAN YOU STUPID SISTER!!" Emmett then ran away crying, He was truly hurt by Alice's thoughtless words.

Alice shrugged the thought of her brother marrying another man off her mind. She had more important things to worry about. Alice then turned back to her training.

Jasper was now landing in Cuba...

"LEONARDO DECAPRIO IS SO FRICKEN HOT!!" Esme shouted, then realizing how random this was for a Star War fanfic. She quickly ran out of the room to go to Cuba.

Jasper then saw Esme run across the road, seeing how random this was he just kept walking so he could accomplish his goal. Jasper then saw the Cuban White House and ran to it...

The phone rang at the Cullen's house and Emmett picked it up.

"Hello this is the Cuban police department, we would like to talk to you about your brother...yeah...So He tried to take over us. So now he's in jail and and he would like to talk to you."

Emmett was silent through the whole message waiting for his fart of a brother to talk. Emmett has told Jasper that Cuba was nice to the Cullens and had given Emmett a pretty pony, but no...Jasper never listens.

"Hello?? Who is this?" Jasper was very nervous, after all he had been caught and his powers had once again failed him. Carlisle said that when you reach middle age that you powers kinda get quirky, and Jasper was more than 100 years old he was a little young for this but he was getting close to be middle aged anyways.

"This is your twin Jasper you know..Eragon is my name, you have a twin named Eragon." Emmett was snickering as he as he imitated the voice off of the movie. He was pure genius.

"I have a twin? Awesome!! Can you pick me up with your dragon Saphira?" Jasper was truly in awe of having a twin that could help him.

"Uh...sure.." Emmett had to think quickly, he could actually go get the actor or he could just leave Jasper to live in Cuban Jail and let the guards question at his eternal youth... Eternal youth it was, Japser would was going to live in Cuba for awhile. "I will be there in like...15 years...Jazzy...no biggy.."

"ALICE USED TO CALL ME JAZZY UNTIL STUPID DARTHVADER STOLE MY LOVE!!" Jasper was very upset by being reminded.

"NO!! DARTHVADER IS MINE YOU STUPID HEAD!!" Emmett was now using his regular tone of voice and was crying.

"Emmett?? Is that you? You mean...I HAVE NOW TWIN!! Yoursuch a lying Craphead!!" Jasper then hung up the phone and told the guards all about his problems.

Jasper was now crying up venomly tears. "Oh Chuck...you may not realize this but you have been such a big help listening to all my problems. It means a lot man!! A whole whole lot!!"

"I know man.. I know what you're going through" The guard was very depressed that his bew buddy was going through all of these problems and was now crying with Jasper.

The phone then rang in the Cuban Jail. "Be right back Jman." The guard answered the phone and found a very upset Alice. "Yeah dude He's right here. Yeah...your such an evil little..oh...yeah...they do that sometimes. Well here he is. Remember to always wash behind your ears!!" The guard then handed to phone to Jasper.

"Jasper!! Im so sorry!! Rosalie brain washed me!!" Alice was near crying.

Jasper gasped at Rosalies cruelty. "Im so sorry honey...I judged you to quickely".

Alice was now choking back venomly tears. "I know!! She even used the stuff she brain washes Emmett with!!" Alice was now crying.

"Thats horrible!!" Jasper then cried along with his wife. "And I didn't even learn how to speak the Striped language..."

"Its okay man..." The guard patted Jasper on the back.


End file.
